Matt's Journal of Life

Wednesday, May 4th

False Contrition


Lately I've noticed how frequently people in modern society say "I'm sorry" when they don't mean it. For instance, imagine you're standing in an elevator. Just as the door is about the close, someone runs over and sticks their hand in the door to hold the elevator. Then they hold it for a few seconds while their friends catch up. If you make eye contact, the person will say, smiling "sorry about that." But that's not true. If they could do it again, they would. And they aren't particularly sorry that their action inconvenienced you. In truth, they probably (and rightly) view your inconvenience as relatively insignificant. But it is common practive to say "I'm sorry" anyway.

On the other hand, showing real contrition is increasingly rare, also a characteristic of the modern world. How rarely is it that someone honestly expresses contrition about having done something that harmed someone else? People talk about "making mistakes," particularly in public. I can understand the desire to not place a target on one's own back for future abuse, but the in a way, that's exactly the point of contrition. If you're really sorry, you're leaving it to others to decide whether or not to harangue you for it and never let you live it down. If you feel like you shouldn't have to do that, well...you're obviously less contrite. And maybe you should be.

I just find it remarkable that, when you examine it all as a unit, we seem to be saying "I'm sorry" with an enormous frequency, yet almost never when we should be.
Matt on 05.04.05 @ 02:04 AM CST [link] [2 Comments]


Friday, April 29th

Political Outsider


I think it's time for me to give up on politics for a while. Now in a way, I've already done exactly that. I've not been actively involved in a political campaign in two and a half years. I'm not one of those twits who acts like he's some sort of political activist or "policy expert" because I make a hobby out of reading blogs and the Politics section of the Washington Post online edition. That said, I think I am going to draw further back out of the sphere of public affairs. The reasons for this move are many.

First and foremost, I can't trust the press. I'm not going to even dignify discussions about whether 'the media' is liberal or conservative in slant. They might just be careless, ratings-grubbing, or undereducated. All I know for sure is that I can't trust them, so I'm not prone to trust *anyone's* sources any more when it comes to political arguments. Honestly, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to draw any conculsions with so much misinformation out there. All of you blog fans can just keep reading them. They're no more trustworthy, and you know it.

Secondly, I can't trust any politicians, particularly at the federal level. And yes, by that I mean your favorite member of Congress, about whom you insist "this one's different." The members of our government have enormous incentive to play fast and loose with the truth, and virtually zero incentive (beyond the kindness of their own hearts - which, given the electoral process, is probably not what got them into office) to be honest, even in the most passing fashion. I'd have to be a complete fool to trust any of them.

Third, there are scant few legitimate ideologies out there. I defy anyone to give me a consistent definition of what constitutes liberal or conservative principles. I actually think libertarianism is the sole exception to this rule, however, it tends to be rather extremist, and libertarians tend to choose sides among the faux ideologies a bit too often. They've also allowed themselves to be co-opted too frequently. The gigantic void of principle all too often leads to people talking past one another and eventually calling one another hypocrites (and more often than not, they're right).

Fourth, the timbre of political discussion has fallen through the floor. Even most of my most thoughtful left-leaning friends spend a considerable portion of their day with bile dripping from their chins, after uttering some just plain hateful statement regarding the right. Most of my friends on the right are no different regarding their feelings about the left. And of course, the great irony is that neither group could define right or left with any consistency, because those definitions don't exist in any honest form. When the people I *like* (a small subset) are hard people with whom to talk politics, there's not much point any more.

Fifth, I am so sick of being stereotyped as an American by Americans. I'm sick of hearing about how much this place sucks from people who aren't lifting a finger to make it better. I'm tired of reading about ethical, moral, or social 'crises' or 'grave injustices' that people don't care about beyond their desire to depress others. I like it here. I like being free (for the most part), and I like making my own choices. I'll resist people telling me what to do, but I don't need to sit through hours and hours of ranting about this week's political bad guy in order to do that.

Finally, either I'm going to do something, or I'm not. Politics has become a sport (primarily a spectator sport) for legions of self-styled intellectuals who want to feel good about sitting on their asses and doing nothing. They read a bunch of blogs, buy the most recent Borders specials from their anointed good guys, coin some new phrases that mock or deride their political opposition, and move on about their lives. I'm not going to be one of those people.

I have my own sense of philosophy and ethics. I have actually read the books on which our current Western notions of freedom and self-governance are based, and I understood them. I'll always know what I feel to be right, and I will act on it. But I'm not gonna walk around debating and pretending to be some sort of politico so I can sound thoughtful at parties. I'm neither going to nod in mild agreement with the accepted wisdom of those surrounding me at any given moment, nor debate it at length. It's just not worth it, and in our current climate, it does more harm than good.

So don't expect me to wax political here or in person any more. I may still comment on the world based on my principles (I reserve the right to rip on the whole mess in one fell swoop), but you'll not see me mention any party, politician, or talking head, and no, I probably won't know most of the dreck that's been in the news. I'm not going away mad, but I am going away. There's way too much interesting stuff out there, and way too many legitimate ways to help people out, to waste my time with politics any longer. I remain mistrustful and critical of all authority, and will question it and criticize it at will.
Matt on 04.29.05 @ 01:13 PM CST [link] [91 Comments]


Tuesday, April 19th

Popapalooza


So they chose a new Pope. They replace a man who died at 84 with a 78 year old. I guess this is intended to be somewhat temporary. I know this is a position of considerable historical significance, but I've always found it strange how much attention the worldwide press gives to the Catholics that they don't give to anyone else. Can we name the higher ups in any other religious organization in the world? Isn't the Vatican army disbanded? I mean, do they really wield much in the way of power, beyond the stockpiles of wealth they've hoarded over the centuries? I'm just not sure how much of a story this is. I guess people like it for the same reason they like stories about British royalty.

Mind you, I have nothing against the Catholics. That seems to make me rare these days, in an era in which believing in something other than a political dogma (and holding to it) somehow groups you with the looniest of extremists.
Matt on 04.19.05 @ 01:06 PM CST [link] [No Comments]


Monday, April 18th

Bike Commuting


So after doing it in earnest for a couple of weeks, I have learned a few important thigns about commuting via bicycle:

1) A bike rack and rear bags really are needed. I tend to question conventional wisdom, so I tried going with a backpack, but it didn't work. Having a bunch of equipment plus a change of clothes is really quite handy.

2) The earlier you can commute, the better off you are. I'm now working toward moving my work hours up one half hour at a time until I am coming in from 8 to 4. I currently wake up at 8AM to get to the office by 9:30, so this obviously will be a pretty big change. But when summer comes and the heat picks up, the last thing I'll want to do is arrive to work after 35 minutes of biking in humid, 85+ weather. Besides, less traffic is good.

3) The bane of the Chicago commuter cyclist, as with all cyclists, is not the automobile, not the pedestrian, but the rollerblader with headphones on. They're just plain dangerous. I doubt there's anything that can be done about them, but those people deserve our scorn. If you blade anywhere there's people around, leave the stupid iPod at home, ok? Someone *might* want to warn you of an impending collision.
Matt on 04.18.05 @ 01:26 PM CST [link] [No Comments]


Wednesday, April 13th

CTA Honeymoon over


Now don't get me wrong. I'd still rather take the train than drive, especially now that I've had a year and a half to really feel just how much money a car sucks down the hole. That said, the CTA just isn't impressing me. The trains do the stop and go cha-cha that reflects poor traffic control every evening rush hour and some mornings. They're now starting brown line station expansion plans, and those plans include closing stations for one YEAR each for renovation. A year for one station. And I ride that line during rush hour every day - the trains aren't packed. The red line can get jammed, but they haven't proposed expanding those trains.

But what really has me annoyed with them is their incessant whining and threats in order to try and milk funding from the state. They had a lot of low-use lines, but they still tried the scare tactic of plastering the risk of $3.40 noe way fares all over the papers. Then, when the time came to vote on how to balance their budget, they cut a bunch of suburban service (mostly buses, but also the Purple Express during rush hours), and raised fares 25 cents - but only on people who pay in cash instead of using the automatic Chicago Cards. Then the topper - they moved all trains to Sunday schedules, guaranteeing a massive headache during the one time when they make a ton of money - rush hour. In other words, a marginal fare increase, the trimming of some dead wood, and other measures designed specifically to cause people headaches, not balance their budget. They are clearly using the changes as a way to pressure the state into giving up more money, but the whole thing is an annoying, arogant gamble. They get federal money to do expansions, whether they need it or not, because after all, they have contractor buddies to feed. They whine and whine about inadequate funding for running the services they alerady have, and then wail when they need to cancel services that had low utilization in the first place. All the while, they deliver sometimes spotty service and a big pile of graft.

Suffice it to say I am glad biking season has returned. I have a new rack and panniers that should arrive in the next day or so, and I might not use the CTA much again until winter. Screw 'em.

That all said...this is a really great city, and the trains and buses are always handy at night.
Matt on 04.13.05 @ 04:31 PM CST [link] [No Comments]


Tuesday, April 5th

Illinois Loses


I'm not much of a college sports junkie, so I didn't get terribly invested in Illinois' run to the NCAA fnial game. That said, as an alum, I certainly was hoping for them to win it all. I was also so sick of hearing the sportcasters all but fellate every snigle player and coach in the ACC that I just wanted their boys to lose.

That said...I slept through the game. I didn't plan on it. But I'd been riding my bike to work a lot lately, and my body hadn't yet adjusted to all of that activity. By the time I got home last night, I was pooped. I sat on the futon, watched the Simpsons, and fell asleep. Oops. I'm guessing that watching the game and listening to the announcers root for one side just would have made me miserable.

Remember, folks, that no matter how unpleasant this loss may have been, we've had a great last several months in sports. Over that period:

1) The Bears fired Dick Jauron and John Shoop - Shoop went on to take part in the destruction of the Bucs.
2) The Yankees committed the single greatest choke job in sports history.
3) The Cowboys and Lakers both suck.
4) No hockey games were played or televised - if only we could orchestrate a golf strike.
5) The Bulls went from 0-9 to 41-31 and plain old fun to watch agani.
6) Illinois did indeed make the NCAA final, which ain't cheese.

That's a pretty good, all things considered. So don't mourn too deeply, Illinois fans. And remember, Sean May is "talented," meaning that like the "talented" Shaquille O'Neal, he is incapable of committing a foul. So don't even brnig that up, or else you're whining. Just letting you know what ESPN will tell you anyway.
Matt on 04.05.05 @ 09:50 AM CST [link] [No Comments]


Monday, March 28th

Annual Card Game


This past weekend was the annual card game. What annual card game? Well, it's really more of a social get-together of a bunch of guys who knew each other in high school. We liked playnig hearts back then, and now it's just the symbolic reason for us all to get together and stay in touch. This year the game was at my house. The participants include Dr. Jason Canel, Efprepios Daskalakis, David Goles, Esq., David Kerpel, Esq., and Martin Kerpel, Esq. It's an impressive group of bright, accomplished men who have built great families. I'm proud to know them all.

David K. makes a rather excellent multi-layer dip, and it has become the centerpiece of the event. We do indeed play cards, but that's not really the point of the evening. It's more about catching up. For the first time in fifteen years, we all live in the same metro area, so we may be arraging more frequent get-togethers, but with the busy schedules in that group, no one is really betting on that. smile

I would have started biking to work today, but I couldn't think of a way to bring an extra pair of shoes to the office while rushing out the door this morning. This afternoon, it struck me that the black leather messenger bag that I cary to work every day cnotains essentially nothing at all that I need to do the job. I guess I just got in the habit of having my journals and notebooks and personal reasnig material with me every day. But since I don't use them at the office anyway, ther's no point in havnig them all with me all the time. If I really need to write something while at work, well...that's what I have this for, isn't it?
Matt on 03.28.05 @ 03:16 PM CST [link] [4 Comments]




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